there is a calming breeze blowing through the upstairs windows. i can breath now. Last night i slept in a real bed all by myself. I haven't done that in almost five months. there's something brave about sleeping on your own. I can't say that I like it much. But the wind helps and makes me feel somewhat at peace. i love my city but i feel little there. here i feel fresh and new. having people who love you and surround you, remind you of how you use to be before you were old.